ನನ್ನ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಹೆದೆಯಲ್ಲಿದದ್ದು ಒಂದೇ ಮಾತು
ಅ ಮಾತನ್ನು ಸಹ ನನ್ನ ಬಾಯಿ ಆಡದೆ ಹೋಯ್ತು

ಕಣ್ನೂಳಗಿದ್ದದ್ದು ಒಂದೇ ಒಂದು ಚಿತ್ರ
ಅ ಚಿತ್ರ ಎದುರಾದಾಗ ಕಣ್ಣು ರೆಪ್ಪೆಯನ್ನು ತೆರೆಯದೆ ಹೋಯ್ತು

ಮನದಾಳದ್ದಲ್ಲೀರುವುದು ಒಂದೇ ಒಂದು ಅಸೆ
ಆ ಆಸೆಯನ್ನು ನನ್ನ ಮನ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಸದೆ ಹೋಯ್ತು
ಆ ಅಸೆ ಆಸೆಯಾಗಿಯೇ ಉಳಿದು ಹೋಯ್ತು

ಕಣ್ಮುಚ್ಚಿ, ಹೆದೆ ಬಿಚ್ಚಿ, ಮನ ನೊಂದು
ಹೊರ ಬಂದದ್ದು, ನನ್ನ ಬಾಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಂದದ್ದು
ಒಂದೇ ಒಂದು ಅರ್ಥವಾಗದ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆ

ಆ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆಯ ಹಿಂದಿದ್ದದ್ದು
ಚಿಂತಾಜನಕವಾದ ಮನ್ನಸ್ಸು
ಮನ್ನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ತಿಳಿ ಹೇಳುವರು ಯಾರಿಲ್ಲ
ಆ ಚಿಂತೆಯ ಚಿಂತೆಯಾರಿಗಿಲ್ಲ

ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಏನು ಹೇಳುವ ಅಧಿಕಾರ ಎನಗಿಲ್ಲ
ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ಆ ಚಿಂತೆಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲೂ ಇಲ್ಲ...

ThIs IS the MOmEnt

This is the moment
When my throat dries up & lips as well
When my tongue can’t spell

This is the moment
When my face blush & My eyes glow,
but I miss my thought flow

This is the moment
When I am not able to say what I feeling
When I am not able to speak what I am thinking

This is the moment
When my Legs find the way out
This is the moment
When my heart gets heavy and burst out,
Bringing a Big smile on my face
That longs last till the next phase

This is the moment
When I say to myself
Do not loose your self

This is the moment
With my Hands adjusting the hair
And my throat trying to repair
I try to say, "How are you?"
Just to realise there is no voice in my throat …..

One more time… my inner voice says….

This is the moment
When I have missed my the chance

Never mind, next time… I console myself

This is the moment
When that big smile still on my face,
Broadens up and says
“Stupid!!!”

This is the moment
When I wake up
This is the moment I smile at myself
With sense of satisfaction, though did nothing but a big smile

This is the moment that I am looking for
This is the moment I am waiting for.

One more time
With my sweet voice coming out of my wet throat,
With cute smile on my face and little blush,
When I can open my lips, and say
That three little words…!!!

This is the moment that I am looking for
This is the moment I am waiting for.

DETERMINATION

Nike+ 10K marathon… though it happened long back, I felt like writing about it now.

I saw Nike+ 10 K Race ad. Its was 7PM and was last day for registration. I decided to Run the raceI don’t have credit card, neither a bank account which supports online payment, nor time to courier the cheque. For that matter, I don’t even had cheque book to pay and have no time to go and pay cash at the centre ( I am not sure if they were taking cash), but no time to courier the checque.

But only one determination- to participate in that. That was only my goal and I could oversee all these hurdles.

Not only these hurdles, to add up to this, I had nobody who was with me to participate. The race was in the evening and out of the city. I don’t have any means to come back home at that time. In case, I say that I have to come home late in night alone, my parents would not agree. So I cant call them to pick me up.

Not only this, the biggest one is, I don’t even run a KM a day even a jog. Somewhere sometime, in college around 8 years back, I had run 500 Mts race and had won 2nd place. But some where I knew I can run 10 KMs. So this hurdle is overcome blindly with my determination and will to run.

I called my friend to join me to marathon. I had no hope that she will join, but she said OK, to my surprise. My problem of companion almost solved, but have to register & pay money that day itself at any cost to join the race.

Now, I called two of my other friends asking for some help for making payments-cheque or credit card. They took some time for decision. Its almost 8.30 or 9.00 PM.

Still, my hope and were alive. I knew I can make it. Then one of my friend called me back and said she has cheque book of one of the banks, but she don’t have any balance. But, I was lucky enough that I also have same bank account. So I told her, give me the cheque, I will transfer the amount right now.

Then called up Nike office and asked if its OK if I can make the payment tomorrow and registration now. They said OK.

Its 9.30 Pm, I registered online with the cheque number. Most of the hurdle almost solved. But I can run only if I can make the payment. I knew at any cost I cant spare a minute the next day on anything, as I was totally booked with meeting and calls. But I promised to Pay the next day, But how? I had no idea.

Next day, I got call at around 10 AM next day, a lady asking if I have made the payment. I said, “not yet , I shall do it at end of the day.” Its Thursday, and the race is on Saturday. The kit will be distrubuted only on Friday after the payment is made.

Its around 7PM, I am yet to make the payment. No time. I get another call from a lady asking for the payment. I said, “Yes, I have made the payment just now, through courier.” I knew, in another 10 min I shall reach the city from my office and can make the payment.

But, by the time I reached the city its 8.00 pm, and to my surprise all courier stores are were closed. Then, I decided to call them up again and say I couldn't make the payment so I am dropping. But inside myself, I dint wanted to give up. I knew I can do it if try but if I give up, that is the end.

But I decided to take an auto to my house from Sajjan Rao Circle. But still in dilemma. I could find no courier store on the way. Very near to my house, I somehow could find one shop. But it’s a KM away from my house, its dark and lonely place to walk. I slowly asked the auto driver, “ could you please wait for me for 5 min, I need to courier this and its very urgent. And I don’t get any auto from here and cant walk as well.”

Ironically, I am planning to run 10K marathon and that too in evening, out of the city. But I cant walk 1 KM near my place at 8.30 PM.

Auto Driver agreed to wait. But in that shop, a lady was very busy attending to customer who are just giving Re 1 or 2 business to her. How disgusting is what i felt. I told her, “Madam, I have a Rik waiting for me, could you attend me fast.” Then she gave me the bill book and asked me to fill everything on my own. Great! I thought.

Meanwhile, I realised that was some “Good Travel” courier. Good Travel?? I haven’t heard of that name, but have no choice. But, should I have to trust them?. Then asked her, “ When will it reach?” She said “ Saturday”. I thought, I lost money, along with the race, because I had already given her the packet.

Couldn’t sleep whole night. Then decided to block the cheques and inform them that I am dropping. This time I was 99% sure.

On Friday, I got a call saying my registration is confirmed and can take the kit. What? ?

Then next sentence they asked, "did you make the payment." I said, "I have couriered it yesterday and gave the consignment number." He said OK, please collect your Kit.

Though I was happy, I was not totally. My friend did not get the confirmation yet.

At that time, I realised the fact that I have not put the date on the cheque. It will bounce, Am sure. Ooops. That is it.I called that lady immediately and total my name and registration number. She said your registration is confirmed. I said, "but one of friends registration is not confirmed. " She took her details and confirmed her registration as well.

“But”, I said, “ Actually there is problem in my cheque, I have not written the date.” She casually said no problem. However, I gave her the cheque number and asked her to put the date for herself.

Then we collected the Kit.

And I ran total 10KM, though walked for sometime and it took 90 mins to complete the race :-)

I did it.

Lesson learnt is that “When we have firm determination to do something, we can really achieve them, whatever the hurdles come.”